GO! Smell the harmony with flowers & thorns!
January 19th, 2008 by JimThis post is dedicated to anyone who wants to see this community work and become what it can be and we request you look forward when you post your comments and take what we’ve learned since this community started!
Many of life’s most overwhelming problems are caused by misunderstanding. We’ve experienced a raft of this here this week, to say the least and have been simply overwhelmed with the response, interest, emails, comments and the general emotional orgy that we’ve witnessed at GO! Smell the flowers.
One of mankind’s obstacles is the ever-present conflict between the pairs of opposites such as good and evil, love and hatred, or peace and war. Take the planets - complementary and opposite astrological principles, Venus and Mars. In mythology they are usually either lovers or bitter enemies, often both at the same time. Ying Yang if you will.
Jung summed up these two planets keep each other in balance and harmony. Venus without Mars, and Mars without Venus, are very sorry creatures indeed, and without each other these two planetary principles are very likely to become distorted with the result that everything starts to go wrong.
So, here at GO! Smell the flowers we will strive to strike a balance between a community of flowers and a community of thorns, our online Mars & Venus if you will. Do share your thoughts right here as we mould the future with your valued input! We aim to pull out a couple of basic rules that the community can self manage as and when they occur.
What should be encouraged and tolerated here? What should not? Tell us right here!
How should this philosophy relate to our community and help us capture the liquid sweet harmony that we are ultimately striving for? All suggestions are welcomed from all - we’ve an idea we’d like to share with you during next week that could aoccommodate both flowers & thorns. Exciting times ahead….
Jeez, haven’t we done this to death this week?
Give over, there’s loads more mileage in it yet
There is indeed and this is the time to shape up for the future as we gauge opinions - otherwise it’ll fade under the flower bed and rot away like last Sunday’s vegetable leftovers….
Lets grab it, address the issue and move forward!
As a practicing and card-carrying thorn, I suggest we have no monitoring or filtering or blocking of comments, except those of a specific threatening nature. (Like…I know where you live and I’m gonna get you) As fellow commenters, we can all commit to:
Not taking on, defending, tsk-tsking, moralizing or attacking any personal attacks
Looking for underlying topic-related viewpoints in comments and responding only to those viewpoints
Always refocusing back to the discussion at hand
Thanks for this Omyword!
I know where you live! Mwar, har, har, har!
That’s a good point Omyword. Perhaps we should just set guidelines that keep posters from attacking each other personally or making threats.
I’ve shared my thoughts with Jem this morning, and I’m sharing them here for whoever’s interested to know what this Bridget thinks.
When I first stumbled upon Flowers, it was people’s repartees to each other and Gary’s witty comments especially that kept me coming back in the early days. While, in the meantime, I’ve built rapport with individual people there, and have learnt a lot about other cultures, the main reason I still come is for a good laugh, a bit of banter and cyber-bonding.
I don’t have a product to sell, I don’t have a concept to market, I don’t even want a large audience for my diary (courtesy of my privacy paranoia ha!). But I used to love Flowers because I could come here and have fun. I’m a spontaneous person and I often say the first thing that comes to my mind. It’s been great to be able to be me here, fireman’s poles et al. Gareth has summed it up well, Bridget is here to say ‘ha!’ to you all! Ha!
Bridget does not enjoy living in a comfort zone-and-everyone’s-better-abide-by-her-rules-or-all-hells-are-gonna-break-loose. Nah. If someone insults me directly, I’ll sometimes have a reaction (and often not. Because I’ve made the effort to understand the regulars over time. I ‘let it roll’, as someone wisely advised me when I first slid down firemans’ pole here). Whatever whoever thinks of or says to Bridget in cyberworld, she still sleeps soundly every night in real world, thank you very much.
Bridget is the type who credits new things she learns (including Angry’s euphemism on decorators) to her ”knowledge of other cultures/communicaiton styles/men” bank account. And this Petal can honestly say she’s learnt a lot about Brit culture and Brit guys at Flowers ha!
With everything that has been going on recently, my concern is: will Bridget still be able to be herself at Flowers?
If I am to contribute here, be it as regular or potentially as a founder, I want to be able to express myself in my own unique way. That means speaking French when the fancy kicks in, having a conversation in Arabic with Mo, asking for advice from Flowers’ own Confucius (that’s Gareth for those who still haven’t caught on duh) on matters unrelated to a post because I happen to need the advice at the time, cyber-flirting a lil (ha!) , and bringing up Benazir’s murder in the middle of a post on a pub fight because I woke up that morning and it was splashed across the papers and got my attention.
I’ve seen the outcry about unrelated comments, going off on tangents etc.. Well, that’s Bridget for you. Or maybe not for you. That’s how people who like my style here have liked my style, and those who haven’t, well haven’t. I am not going to change.
If Bridget inspires people at Flowers as Jem keeps telling her she does, she’s done it unawares with all her quirks, ha!s, digressions, and sliding down fireman’s pole. Jem still wants her as a founder (despite her latest slising-down-fireman’s-pole ha!). Her response to them is: Can Bridget still be herself at Flowers..?
If you were anything else other than yourself I would be the first to get on your case petal.
Ta Confucius.
Can’t help wonder what Gary would have said to my comment. Hmmm… “How can I refuse Bridget!!!!” maybe?
Wish he was here.
same…
OF COURSE you can be yourself BJ (ADMIN??) - there is no other way!
I’ve stood back and watched this week and this needs bringing to the fore! Bring on the thorny issues - bring on the flowery ones and what a great metaphor for keeping this place realistic, thought provoking and ‘real’.
Leave the stone throwing of course but encourage it within posts so points of view are given, not surpressed but a degree of decorum is expected within the community.
This will attract more readers, more comments and more of a broader range…
Me likes.
BJ - Dare I be the first to welcome you on board as a founder?
I wanna be first dave!!!
I love your style Bridget…don’t ever change!!
Bridget is touched by your unfailing loyalty Tay. You for one never got swayed by temptations, that much can be said about my Taylor :)) Ta.
Thanks for sharing your email BJ and for everyone else here is our reply we emailed to you…
Hey BJ,
Your email has captured the essence of what we want flowers to be - fun!!
You have been invited on to be a flowers founder because you are yourself - this takes both courage and in such a forum to expose yourself and get out of your comfort zone.
You’ve done this time and time again!
Gareth did some it up rather nicely and we wholeheartedly agree at his sentiments.
You brighten the community up - you can handle the angrys of the world - it stretches your game and we belive it will make us all more open and rounded as flowers grows.
If each founder isnt themselves then it is a sad day - this has to be within limits agreed by the commuinty, the obvious one being..
‘If personal attacks and insults are made they will not be tolerated by the community and we request they are avoided and that comments remain on topic but from the heart’
- Just as an example - it helps us find an agreeable level as founders.
My beloved brother Gary, a genius writer, so quick but oversteps the mark from time to time - dont worry, there is a place for him as well - I’ll be calling him later and in the meantime will be posting a message to the community about natures balance with good and evil / highs and lows / ups and downs!!
Do post you comments here and please be assured -this isnt something we are selling you but something that we feel is part fo you and vice versa. You are becoming the very essence of the community!
This isnt a back slapping email to raise you and praise you but this is exactly at it is!
Hope this helps - excting and fun times ahead…
Rgds and Group Hugs,
Jem.
http://www.gosmelltheflowers.com/blog
Bridget is honoured and touched by your faith in her Jem. Thank you.
Not forgetting me of course BJ, I’ve stood back over the last week and thoroughly enjoyed / distressed myself with the goings on here…
Glad you’re back! Founder??
That’s Emma typing, right?
Bridget’s not forgetting you girl, you are very much included in “Jem” :))
J is for Jim, ‘em’ is for Emma. Jem! That’s how lil Bridget calls you guys now ha!
Aaargh!! It was you Sarah?! Somehow my screen said Jim & Em, I swear!!!
(Jeez, another fireman’s pole so fast, Bridget thinks to herself!)
Ta for your faith too in Bridget Sarah, let’s leave the distress behind now sweety and smile a lil :))
My middle name is Emma so may that showed up on here? Nope it was lil ol me BJ! Server overload here ADMIN, maybe needs a break
Even though my point above was about staying focused on the topic at hand, I think that was my solution for how to handle personal attacks. It would be waaaaay boring if there were no HA!s or flirting digressions or off-topic meanderings. We could end up swinging this pendulum too far in the other direction and getting all anal and such-like.
Great minds think alike Omyword ha!
Oh…and the very first personal attack comment I have ever had on my political blog came in this morning, and what did I do? Delete it! hehe Where did all that stuff about blowing past the personal stuff and responding to the underlying issues go? Out zee window. Of course, the anonymous commenter just called me names in general, and didn’t pick at anything specific that I said in the post, so I’m not sure what I could have responded to, unless I said, “So tell me what specifically in my post you have an issue with so I can respond.” Yeah, that would have been the calm, measured thing to do.
This is a great thread and needs handling as the issue is hot - not when it is too late….sorry GIC but this is so key right now.
Flowers & thorns is a great anology - the is no beauty with the bad, not debate without differences…
As I’ve said all along - we dont tolereate personal attacks and if they do happen then, like in life, outbursts can and should be forgiven.
Lifes not all about the flowers - the rose is nothing without the thorn.
LOL Omyword and thanks for being so open with this issue, with your own experience!!
Trashed ‘em! YEAH! LOL! I heart you Lisa!
I’ve had a couple of comments like that myself on my blog. How can one respond to them really? Plus, having them actually posted on your blog tends to bring down the general atmosphere. Delete it and forget it.
I think I better add something…but Bridget summed it up nicely.
I’m here because I can be a wise ass at times…I love it when people get talking and disagreeing…I love Angry and Gary and what they have to say. Even though Angry made me mad…I love him!! Without that banter I don’t think it would be Flowers. It’s a great combination here. That’s what I liked when I became a founder. And that’s why I want to stay.
Jem are the greatest … without their support I don’t think I could feel as confident as I am lately!!
Hey Taylorblue thanks for this and this really is just the start - you’ve got your niche with the celeb posts and did a far better job with the Tom Cruise Scientology post at your blog than we did - a case in point!
The early days, Taylor was when we really connected was in that post of ‘ GO! Smell the flowers and change the world back in JUNE 2007, before founders that had that resulted in 283 comments (OK some at the end are SPAM that slipped through but a solid 275 comments - remember THAT post!!!! You shone there and we’ve hooked up ever since…..
Here it is for those who missed it!!!
http://www.gosmelltheflowers.com/blog/archives/594
It did mean personal atacks and another blogger being offened who came on board with no prior expectations - only to smell the flowers (no thorns!) so with the avoidance or warnings to stay away from personal stuff off topic we could be onto a healthy garden here!
Been meaning to comment on this since yesterday, awesome thread Jem! Ta for sharing.
Tay, you rocked there girl!
Bridget LOL’ed at this:
“Its like when I used to go to therapy to stop myself setting fire to stuff and torturing animals.
Everything was ?and how did you feel??
Which I soon got bored off so answered every bit with ?like setting fire to stuff and killing animals?. ”
Class! LOL!
DO i have to tell you who said that..?
In case you wonder, ohhhh yes, I’ll be rubbing it in for a lonnnng time to come..
I realize I’m “just a bra” but in my not-so-humble opinion, I think we are making this waaaaay more complicated than it needs to be!….it doesn’t take a genius, only a conscious, to relay what you want to say in a (halfway) intelligent, non-threatening manner. Certainly discussions can be lively or even heated without restorting to personal attacks, intentional insults, or rude comments. I have NO problem with sarcasim, off-color humor, etc…let’s just not restort to throwing stones at each other - that’s ALL! What’s so hard about that?
Agreed Olga but this needed covering and clarifying as we’ve a solid foundation (of founders) to GO! forward all with a similar open mind…..all will fit into the garden here :0)
Oh I ‘m GLAD you posted this!
so what else is there left to say? As a newbie I’ve only been honoured with ‘nice’ comments that haven’t really said anything - apart from Gary of course who gave me the full treatment, which I did my best to give back. I suppose I feel more ignored than anything else, but then that’s probably to do with the quality of my posts … and by the way I am not ’selling my wares’ and take exception to people who put other people/me in that camp. Any Founders who are here just for that will quickly find out that there are more effective ways of advertising. So, to conclude, yes sometimes I’ve found some of the comments on other posts sometimes unecessary, sometimes seriously unfunny, sometimes out there just to do damage, but they were never more than I could cope with, if I could be bothered. Perhaps the worst of it is the feeling that this is an exclusive club that newcomers can’t enter - not the message GSF should be giving. So to conclude, yes I think we all need to think about our posts and our comments, why we are putting them up there and what their effect will be, but no we should not stop the hard-hitting comments and the on line battles - just make them funnier and less like kids shouting at each other because they’ve got nothing better to do. Oh yes, and one more question to .. some of you … Where do you find the time to write all this stuff? Haven’t you got homes and jobs go to.
A good point Babette - a newbie visitor must find it intimidating here if all they have to go off is the flowers message and website!
I’ve been reading and sometimes posting at flowers and the founders only started in the last few months of 2007 so give time, folks.
That is the point of this thorn and flower post I guess - to know where to pitch this community, who it will appeal to and what they exepct when they arrive…
That was, I beliver Drowseymonkeys valid point - the community here not doing what it said on the label, right ADMIN or Jem as BJ calls you, which I for one prefer to Jim & Em!
“Jem” is perfect! Because they are…gems!
My thoughts behind entirely.
Briget calls them “Joyau” in her diary. French for gem.
Yesssss French is more posh and more class Confucius ha!
Hey Babette, thanks for this and rest assured now that we’re settling as founders we’ll be getting serious readership / comments as we become a user friendly community!
Granted it has had to feel an exclusive club as we get a sense of shared purpose - kind of asswmbling the team before the game, if you will.
What we’ve captured over the last week is a sense of decorum, commonality and the variety of founders we have here. As you asked we dont have a TV and this is our TV - creating the media right here…..
You posts to date have been spot on - the British comedy one really sticks out and there was a request for a similar post but on American comedy….maybe worth a GO!
Thanks for sharing your feedback here..
I like the way you put that Babette and it makes a lot of sense.
I certainly didn’t expect my post or my questions to generate the reaction or number of responses it has. It was done with the best of inent and came from my honestly confused reaction to the community. I had a long and interesting conversation with Jim where that fact was discussed…which is what prompted my post. In retrospect I would have handled it a little differently because my intent was never to have anyone leave.
My main goal for blogging is to have fun. I follow a few blogs regularly and they’re fantastic … I find myself laughing out loud at many. I also end up being inspired and learning something too…which is a bonus. Like many here I don’t have anything to sell either, I make my living in the real world (unfortunately!) but having said that I think blogging is a fantastic and fun way to sell your work/art/book…whatever.
OKay…so I’m not a hugger but I’d be willing to partake in a group hug if that would be helpful. No naked twister tho…that would not be pretty!
Hmmm - no naked twister, eh!
It’s all good drowsey and its great to gauge all the forward thinking opinions from all the founders.
As we’ve ironed this out we can get those founder badges issued, some shiny new software and then take over the world…
Bwwwaaaahh aaaah aaah (Evil laugh)
My experience upon this site so far is much like the daily bump and grind of life……some people are rude…..some people are not. Bottom line is that both aspects exists within the same framework of life…but does not have to deter anyone from the primary purpose of what this blog is about.
INSPIRING OTHERS……By BEING EXACTLY WHO WE ARE……
……and for the people who thrive on being mean…..no one has the power to hurt me more than I have hurt myself through this life so i look at it all as a flip of the wrist upon my shoulder with the words “minor setback”
Ultimately everything that occurs on this blog is all part of he development process…..each event is the gauge we can all use to accentuate what may be working and lessen what may not be working…….
Keep on keeping on guys!!!!!!!!
Cheers Mighty, great attitude and we love the ‘keep on keeping on’….
Hi all
Yep I am back….
do you all save the really serious topics till I go on holidays….
Go aways for a night or two two and come back and theres a really juicy one again ….
I would like to share a little saying we have down here in OZ……
I think it goes along with the Roses and thorns nicely….
Life is like a bed a roses ….. but watch out for the pricks….
A blog that reflects real life and is written by real people on topics which affect real life is always going to get a little thorny/ prickly it is the nature of things…..
Lovely to look at, lovely to smell, but sometimes there is a little surprise just under the surface… this is why people love it….
I dont like personal attacks and think they have no place here, I havent seen anything which I would say is of a person nature… but thats possibly just because of the way we are here in oz it has to be pretty specific, even with the spats that accured last week from time to time.., i have heard worse than that from people walking past my house at night….
My view on this matter is bring back the Biff!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuMukG3sMH4&feature=related
these guys are all League Players…….. and a bit stupid..lol
Let go to the pub…..
AC
Chook Chook Chook! and Bridget follows Aussie to the pub ha!
AC… Bring back the Biff… LMAO as only Aussies can at this
I know……
Couldnt resist it… post coming….
LOL AC - maybe wer should get the Biff on here at flowers….I can smell a guest post
My sentiments follow Bridget’s above and I would like to add that I think this community will work with everyone being themselves, inspiring others or not… We all have free will and can choose what we respond to and how we react to it and the comments we make. This community can grow into something bigger than ourselves meaning that we can use this platform for discussion (and btw, I am looking forward to the new software that Jem refer to) and make it a place to banter and have fun as well as discuss some serious points that are raised which can lead to attracting a whole host of new readers from all walks of life… and if we aren’t ourselves… then what is the point! Who knows… there could be quite a few “aha” moments waiting.
The various personalities here make it very colourful indeed and without input from everyone, this blog wouldn’t be what it is. Perhaps GSTF isn’t for everyone. You can’t please all of the people all of the time and you can’t say the wrong thing to the right person. There is always a mix of Yin and Yang wherever you are so I say thank you to Jem for creating such a place in cyberworld. Their vision has probably expanded from what they originally thought.
I am curious to see how GSTF will grow
roses, thorns, roses, thorns… a few weeds every now and then… now where has that gardener got to!!
Amen to that Angie!
THanks Ange, noted and watch this space as we introduce the software team to you so all founders know its for real
f you want to dress it up with a Roses and Thorns anaology then it’s up to you. Yin and Yang ?? - as Fu Hsi quite rightly stated Yang (thorns) should dominate for a true state of harmony.
There has been nothing i’ve seen on this blog over the last 12 months that has offended me, nor anything that i’ve seen that i would consider offensive. Near the mark yes, but always made in a humourous way. Anyone who has taken any of the comments or ’suggestions’ to heart needs to look at themselves rather than whoever is writing the comment. Indeed the colourful comments, argumentative stances and probing questions have (by general agreement) made this site sucessful. interesting and attractive to the regulars and new visitors.
No change….
No poofs
No kiddy fiddlers
No hippies
No New Age healers
No alternative therapies
No colonic irrigation
No life coaches……..etc
?? (for those of you in mainland China).
Thanks for the input Angry and nicely sumed up by you with …
‘Indeed the colourful comments, argumentative stances and probing questions have (by general agreement) made this site sucessful. interesting and attractive to the regulars and new visitors.’
Noted!
This is getting mundane in the extreme.
A couple of people grew up wrapped up in too much cotton wool and then the rest of us have to endure this cyber fellatio for the next 10 days.
Get on with it you bunch of narcissistic wannabees.
here here Gareth…….
I hope I am not one…
looking to those standing behind her…
Oh good there is no one there…
hangs head……
bugger…
AC
HA! Fear not GIC / AC - the cyber fellatio will stop…
But it WAS fun.
Wow, this is like watching this:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=IxWnPfTEyZI
a community forming at ten times the normal speed!
Phew, blink (or go on your hols AC!) and it’s moved on already.
Trying
to
keep
up!
I think flowers needs the thorns, not because they are bad and good needs bad stuff for harmony. But beacuse the thorns are good in themselves.
You just need to step back and look at them with the right perspective.
Like mentioned above, the thorns protect the rose petals, likewise the thorns in flowers make sure the community stays real, challenge where needs be and make the whole thing more interesting than something just bland and “nice.”
So we should avoid personal attacks, but we shouldn’t have a go at people who we think have done this. Delete the comment if appropriate ad