GO! What do you see as British?
April 16th, 2008 by mikeMike here (that’s me below right)
A younger child is dragged away screaming by his parents, ‘I want to see, I want to see,’ ‘No you’re not watching this ungodly show a minute longer.’ Punch wriggles free and brings down his stick over Jack Ketch’s head. The children laugh in relief, Ketch is dead. Death, death, the sentence is death. The Devil appears. Not even Punch can escape death. Death, death, the sentence is death. Pretty Polly holds up a card with Boo, written on it. Boo, the children shout.
Extract from my novel, The Dandelion Tree
Punch & Judy at the seaside - you can’t get more British than that! Except it didn’t originate in England, but I’ll gloss over that minor point. So what things do you see as typically British? Be interesting to see what other nationalities think of as British.
Cucumber sandwiches anyone?
Picture used by permission: Matt West
Heres are few..
Fish n chips
The smell of freshly cut grass in the summer
Cold water coming out of the taps
Morecombe n wise
Football with jumpers for goalposts
Coronation Street
The Royal Family - ooops no - they’re German - no kidding…
An accent that changes, on average every 26 miles!
More to follow..
A pint and a fight for a Great British night
The Sex Pistols…the Clash…..—PUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Because I’m somewhat of a nerd William Shakespeare. I love Shakespeare!
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1) Bad Teeth.
2) Monty Python.
3) Benny Hill.
4) Sweeney Todd (who also had bad teeth).
5) Putting people in meat pies (see also #4)
6) The Chunnel
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The Beatles and their Liverpudlian accent
The Rolling Stones, David Bowie
Hot tea, especially with lemon and no cream
Hot toddies
Colonialism (masterfully done!)
The Union Jack
Shakespeare, Shelley, Donne
Cold puddings (ew!)
Orange marmelade
Rose gardens
Amber’s last blog post..We must love one another or die
Punch eh? Wife Beater,that’s the way to do it! Did it originate in Belgium,like the other wife beater…Stella Artois!
Typically British…..
Wimbledon,Boat Race,Ginster’s,red double decker buses,mushy peas and Dick van Dyke……chim,chimeny,chim,chimeny,chim…..
Punch & Judy originated in Italy - strawberrys and cream with your wimbledon entry? Yum - nice but expensive!
mike’s last blog post..Books: Those little Red Pills
Chavs (if you don’t know what one is, Google it and prepare to be repulsed)
Dreadful Prime Ministers (apart from Winnie, of course)
Paul McCartney
Curry
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Tea and Crumpets
Football
The Beatles
Probably in that order.
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Well as I was ‘detained’ at Liverpool during the ’70s under the Prevention of Terrorism Act, held for 20 hours and treated very badly during that time, you don’t want to know.
But I have to say that we love to see the Brits coming over for weekends — stags and hen nights….they know how to enjoy themselves and cause very few problems while ‘under the influence’.
What I see as British who visit my side of the pond — people who are fun loving…. people who are always welcome.
rashers’s last blog post..A ramble around my town.
Here’s my stab:
Freedom
Suppressed emotions
Tolerance
Incessant moaning
Idolizing celebrities
Tearing down celebrities
Pubs and real ale
Unreliable weather (usually wet)
Tea
Class distinction (even now)
Love of animals
Love of shooting animals
Cricket
Standoffishness
Fish and chips
Sitting in a deckchair staring out to sea in persistent drizzle
Mixed bag, aren’t we?
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Yep - and it’s every English Man’s right to moan
I mean what else would we talk about? We’re no good at anything - but moaning - heh watch out we can beat the lot of you!
mike’s last blog post..Books: Those little Red Pills
wondered when someone would mention deckchairs and drizzle in the same suggestion
nice one secret si!
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Brilliant SS, chuck a perpetual need to queue in there and that is pretty much nail hit on head.
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The wrestler named Bulldog.
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you got nice blog..! check mine at http://goody-good.blogspot.com. thanks
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The Mersey beat, the Crown Jewels and the Tower of London.
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Aussie view of you poms
Lets get the niceties out of the way…
Football
fish and chips
shakespeare
the Beatles
tea (i know)
language
Robin hood
dragons
Queen
Beer
now for the rest
Hoodies
soccer hooliganism
skin heads
beer
whining
Australia… you decide which catagory…
America …. again you decide you let them be an independent!
And most importantly over paid, over sexed and over bloody here!!!!….
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
:p
Oh did I mention beer??
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But you love us don’t you AC - we brought you Life on Mars, Top Gear, Doctor Who ….
mike’s last blog post..Books: Those little Red Pills
Yep I do love you brits….
I am actually sitting here listening to Ian Drury right now…. lol
Besides my Great Nan was a pom and i wouldnt be here without yous.. but she wouldnt have approved of ian drury….
aussiecynic’s last blog post..Voted Best Jokes:
are you at a seance AC?
What is he telling you?
He is currently singing a song….
About Noddy.. do you know the one…
Goes something like..
Winnie the poo was having a (*&^%
its not bad…
He says hi!
aussiecynic’s last blog post..Voted Best Jokes:
One thing always confuses me. Whats the difference between Britain & England, Scotland, Wales, Ireland? Is Britain a country? What are the other four I mentioned? Are they provinces? if yes, how come they field their own football teams in International competitions?
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Hello Dubai Guy
Great Britain consists of England, Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales.
Scotland provides prime ministers
Northern Ireland provides terrorists
Wales provides singing
And ENGLAND RULES
LOL BO Snr
The Scottish hate the English.
The English aren’t aware of Scotland (They think “Up North” goes only as far as Yorkshire.)
The Irish hate the English and gave us Terry Wogan as a way of having a laugh at us.
The Welsh gave us Anthony Hopkins who eats the English - “I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti”
All in we are a friendly bunch though
mike’s last blog post..Books: Those little Red Pills
“Scotland provides Prime Ministers” Hmm, highly debatable. It certainly provides a good laugh though; I just love those hairy legged men trying to look manly in their kilts whilst blowing into a sack with three pipes sticking out of it.
Nobody mentioned Basil Fawlty; now he is throughly English. Ah yes; a lovely cheap and nasty sausage served up with luke warm beans and plum tomatoes on a wet and windy morning in a damp B & B on the South Coast. What could be more English than that?
Oh by the way..don’t mention The War.
Mrs T’s last blog post..Screw that cleaning I’m blogging this morning!
Basil Fawlty: This is typical. Absolutely typical… of the kind of…
[shouting]
Basil Fawlty: ARSE I have to put up with from you people. You ponce in here expecting to be waited on hand and foot, while I’m trying to run a hotel here. Have you any idea of how much there is to do? Do you ever think of that? Of course not, you’re all too busy sticking your noses into every corner, poking around for things to complain about, aren’t you? Well let me tell you something - this is exactly how Nazi Germany started. A lot of layabouts with nothing better to do than to cause trouble. Well I’ve had fifteen years of pandering to the likes of you, and I’ve had enough. I’ve had it. Come on, pack your bags and get out.
Does the tone sound familar? - Do you think Urban models himself on Fawlty?!
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So Mike you’re the Bionic Man eh? Hmm, possibly we could have something in common. But you’ll have to read my post The Great Escape to see why. Strangely enough I live just outside of Luton too. Great site and your literary one is also very interesting. Now I suppose I’ll have to check out this Urban guy. You reckon he’s like Fawlty eh? Does he come from Weston - Super - Mare?
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Hi Mrs T - yes I am indeed the Bionic man - well I was in my 7 year old mind when I used to run down in slow motion to play at my mate’s house, jacket billowing in the wind!
Will have to check out your blog!
And how near to Luton are you?
mike’s last blog post..Postcard from James Meek
Cripes, I hope you didn’t try and jump off the garden wall too!
…Although that could explain why you’re living in Luton.
I live very near, outside that lovely place of sophistication they call Dunstable.
(I’m feeling generous; I had some particularly nice cookies for my elevenses.)
My bionics are a little rusty these days; how about yours? I still fantasize about running…although, come to think of it, just seeing would be good.
Mrs T’s last blog post..Screw that cleaning I’m blogging this morning!
Arh Dunstable - cookies eh? You sound cool!
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Cookies??
are you in America
They are biscuits.
Terrible.
Why, Urban, you’ve put me in my Basil Fawlty mode! How dare you insinuate I am from the USA; I am as English as much it is possible to be and that’s more English than Queen! And I’ll have you know biscuits are biscuits except when they’re chocolate chip COOKIES ( and these were particularly scrumptous ones) or when they’re shortbread in which case… well.. they’re shortbread.
And where are you? YOU appear to be anonoymous! Hmm, I see.. making caustic comments from the safety of your (no doubt) squalid desk, covered with BISCUIT crumbs…….
Oh, I’m outraged, it must be time for some more biscuits..and I was only following instructions the instructions on screen “clear my cookies” it said.. and that Mr Urban is what I now intend to do (Again). In an English type of fashion..with a cup of tea. So there!!
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Currently in Liverpool Mrs T.
I’ll accept your apology for now. But don’t let it slip again. Ok?
What apology was that? Are you sure YOU’RE not American? Totally misreading my words… Why that’s almost something the delightful Mr Bush would do!
Well, I’m a little relieved to find you’re from Ol Blighty…although still a bit worried about this site; Mikes is from Luton, you’re from Liverpool. Cripes, I’m feeling positively regal being as I am from (a sort of) green belt. (Hmm does outside Luton count Mike?) But you know I’m a kind soul, I won’t stoop so low as to make any jokes about Liverpool; it stands by itself as a pinnacle of cultural sophistication.
Ho, hum.
Now do you have your own site or do I just have to accept Mikes’ word that you have similar characteristics to Basil? In which case we can do a duet ..as I reluctantly admit I orginate from W-S-M….
BBAAASSSSILLLLLL…….
Mrs T’s last blog post..Screw that cleaning I’m blogging this morning!
working in Liverpool
living in Rossett
but moving to liverpool in the not too distant
I don’t have my own site
I’ve got a life you see
I just enjoy coming on here and having a laugh
And laugh you do Urban one….bringing out plenty of reactions from flowers smellers - always a bonus!
Welcome to flowers Mrs T and hi from Dubai…
Jim & Em
Oooh, that was bitchy Urban! Naughty, naughty.
Hmm, I see we will get on rather well.
No idea where Rossett is; I thought it was something worn on your lapel. Good luck with the move…don’t forget the heavy duty locks though.
Hi Jim and Em, thanks for your greetings…. Lovely site.
See Urban that’s the way to greet a lady; not slander her cookies.
Mrs T’s last blog post..Screw that cleaning I’m blogging this morning!
As ever a pleasure
and don’t forget your copy of the koran mrs t
luton and that eh?
Well I think That’s Mrs T and Urban nicely bedded in together LOL
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What a bizarre remark Urban!
Now with a pseudonym like yours I expect your’e off clubbin’ eh? Or is it some cover up and you’re really a middle aged gent with a white suit and a gold medallion?
When you’ve finished rapping let me know.
Mrs T’s last blog post..Screw that cleaning I’m blogging this morning!
“Northern Ireland provides terrorists” is neither true nor fair.
rashers’s last blog post..A ramble around my town.
true rasher
Norn Iron has produced a lot more
Jimmy Cricket
Jim McDonald off Corrie
The Nolans
Tarmac Gangs
Lucky Heather
Frank Carson
Robert Geldof
the list is ended
I think he was joking Rashers.
Lib’s last blog post..Go Smell the bad odour!
Welcome to the thorns in the garden rashers - Urban does offer sarcasm and we enjoy your contributions here bud.
Imagine the UAE (UK) - supposed to be one country - and each Emirate (England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland)
the last night of the proms - the final medley of sea song shanties, rule britannia etc and some great flag waving by chiefly yourselves.
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Jolly hockey sticks old boy..
Well done Jim
I am filling up just listening to it
Only the British can do this
I will be thinking about this in Tenerife for the next seven days
Filling up what…
Your glass?
stirring stuff indeed - it don’t get much more british than that - (unless you cross James Bond with Tommy Cooper…. then the baddies get it - just like that haha)
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on yer feet - show some respect
mike’s last blog post..Books: Those little Red Pills
They need a twister mat wouldn’t you say?
TOMMY COOPER (insert youtube clip here Jim please)
here’s one of his….. Man walks into the doctors and says “my arm hurts in three places”.
The doctor replies…..”Well you’d better avoid those places in future hadn’t you”
Just like that!
Jonathan’s last blog post..What would you like to see?
LOL Jonathan - good to see ya back on your feet
mike’s last blog post..Fab Four Form Writing Team for The View from Here
Thanks Mike - I feel almost normal!
Sounds like you’ve been a busy lad yourself - what have i missed!
Jonathan
Jonathan’s last blog post..What would you like to see?